First let me say there is no right or wrong way to propose to your girl. However, experience has taught me that there are some general Dos and Don’ts to consider when it’s time to pop the question.
I don’t want to stifle your creativity because the ladies like it when the proposal from their beloved has some thought behind it. They appreciate the effort. That continues throughout the relationship, by the way. So let’s start with the Don’ts first.
Probably the biggest one is, don’t propose in front of a large number of people or on live TV. I’ve never met a woman who thought that being asked to marry in front of a stadium or a studio audience was a good idea. Unless she actually SAYS that it would be fun, I wouldn’t do it. The ladies like to share the news of their engagement with their friends and family in little bits, savoring the moments as they unfold. Don’t ruin that for them.
Don’t hide the ring in food or drink. You won’t get any credit for originality and you might end up sitting in the emergency room or digging through garbage all night.
Obviously, don’t propose over the phone, in a text message or while you’re doing something trivial (unless you like hearing the word "no" when asking life-altering questions).
Don't propose to her in front of her family (or on front of yours).
Don't propose to her in front of her family (or on front of yours).
Don’t propose while drunk, after a fight, or after sex (either individually or in any combination).
Don’t propose while you are sick (either of you).
Don’t ask somebody else to ask her FOR you and definitely don’t use a ring that you’ve given to somebody else before (unless you LIKE sleeping alone).
The best proposals are done with few people around and with no distractions. The proposal should be a surprise, even if you’ve already discussed it beforehand and agreed that it should happen. She might know it's coming but the timing should be unexpected.
I know it’s hard to be creative, but you don’t have to take the creativity to tremendous heights, just be slightly unique. Be yourself -- but your cooler and more sensitive self. Be prepared in case she doesn't answer you right away. Be patient and understanding. It's good practice for being a husband.
When I proposed to my wife, I did it in a restaurant. I put the ring in a music box and gift-wrapped it for her. I was about to go on a long trip so I made that an excuse to give her the gift – to remind her of me while I was gone. An engagement ring was the best reminder possible.
When she found the ring I dropped to one knee and quietly asked her to marry me right there in the restaurant. Only a couple of tables even saw me and I'm not sure that they knew what I was doing. I didn't care anyway.
We still visit that restaurant and will always remember that table with fondness. It was very intimate and romantic and just creative enough to not be cookie-cutter without going anywhere near over the top.
Often the choice of location is the most meaningful choice you can make, like where you met or the first place you kissed. In our case, it was a restaurant we frequented often during our courtship.
This may sound silly, but you should practice exactly what you’re going to say so that you don’t stumble over the words. She'll want to hear you say it in a clear, confident voice. It is also nice to tell her why you want her to marry you, so think about that before you walk into battle. She will appreciate the extra effort to express yourself.
And of course, DO have a ring. It doesn't mean a thing unless you put a ring on it.
And of course, DO have a ring. It doesn't mean a thing unless you put a ring on it.
I know being in love makes you want to shout it from the rooftops, but if you’re thinking about writing it in the sky, stop and reflect for a moment about what you’re doing, and consider something more low-key. Your future wife will appreciate it. Trust me on this one.
Two for the road. Often at the end of a posting I will point you in the direction of a vendor that I have worked with numerous times and can safely recommend. This post I have two for you.
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Next I would guide you to Consultants Unlimited, one of the best wedding and event planning companies around. Those guys are great and really know what they are doing when it comes to planning a wedding. Give them a call to make your wedding top-shelf and above.
