Elements of a Wedding Service (Parts is Parts)

If I have sent you some ceremonies from which you will put together your own, unique ceremony, as you read them you will start to understand the various parts to a wedding ceremony and how they fit together. However to make it easier for you I have put together this list of the important elements of a wedding ceremony and their traditional order:

I. Some kind of introduction, which may include an address to those in attendance and to you, the couple.

II. The "I dos," which is simply the question that you answer, "I do," or "I will."

III. The hand-off. (Optional.)  This is where I ask your escort (your father generally), "Who presents this woman to be married to this man?" His usual reply is, "Her mother and I" or "Her family and I." (NOTE: Sometimes the dad or escort simply drops off the bride at the front and goes to sit down before the processional music stops, making this part unnecessary. Also, the hand-off can happen first thing once the bride arrives at the front and the music stops.)

IV. Either a reading or some general words from the minister (or both). (Optional.)

V. The vows, which are repeated after me. You can choose from vows that are in the sample ceremonies or you can find alternate vows in the file "AltVows-Readings." See the blog entry entitled, “Vows: To Talk or Not to Talk.”

VI. The ring exchange. This part almost always directly follows the vows and is usually preceded by a few words from the minister and involves a short repeat-after-me.

VII. Some sort of symbolic gesture (Optional.) In a traditional, religious ceremony this would be the Unity Candle Ceremony (for an inside wedding). For non-religious ceremonies there are lots of choices of symbolic gestures found in the file "AltVows-Readings" to take the place of the Unity Candle Ceremony, like the sand ceremony, wine ceremony, water ceremony, or the Hands Ceremony (which can be done with no props at all). It is very lovely and you can edit it for your specific situation or to shorten it if you like. Please see my blog entry entitled, “Use of Props (Candles in the Wind).”

VIII. Maybe more words from the minister. (Optional.) You will find these general words from the minister interspersed amidst the various ceremonies.

IX. The pronouncement, which usually goes something like, "Now that you have stood before me and exchanged these rings, etc,...it gives me great pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife," and is usually followed directly by the kiss (sometimes a short blessing precedes the kiss in a religious service). For more information about the actual kiss, please see my blog entry entitled, "The Wedding Kiss (Good and Bad News Bears)."

X. The introduction of the new couple. (Optional.)  This would be something like, "I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. ____________." An alternate introduction might be, “Please welcome ________ and ________ in their new lives together as husband and wife.” This introduction is appropriate if the bride isn’t changing her name or simply wants a little more “liberated” ending to the service.

-Rev. Sam

www.revsam.com