Holiday Weddings

Within the last year a new trend seems to be emerging that may be related to the economy – or not. People are now more often getting married on holidays, particularly New Years Eve, New Years Day, and July Fourth.

There are many advantages to getting married on these holidays. For one thing, you’ll always be off of work on your anniversary. For another, there will always be a party on your anniversary – many times with fireworks!

People are generally off work on holidays, so it's easier for your families and friends to attend your wedding when you marry on a holiday. It also means that you are off work for your anniversary every year.

There are some down sides to a holiday wedding however, especially if you want to have a full wedding with all the trimmings. First of all, it might be hard to find vendors willing to work on holidays – and if they do they may charge extra. Your search to find a minister, photographer, caterer, musician or Dee-Jay may be harder, so be prepared to be turned down a lot.

Next, it might be hard to secure the venue that you want because the people that manage and maintain those properties will want to be off on holidays.

Lastly, some people that you will want to attend your wedding may not because of other travel plans and family obligations. For example, if you get married on New Years Eve, your brother might not be there because he and his wife go to see her family up in Jersey this time every year – things like that. Some families divide up the holidays and simply will not be available to come to your wedding.

So while getting married on a holiday seems like a great idea, in practice it works best for the smaller, home-bound weddings or destination elopement services. It also works if your extended families are small and live close together. You can find success if the venue you choose is open all year, like a park or similar public place – or your home for that matter.

The holiday wedding works best for those that cater their own wedding and who don’t need a professional photographer – having a friend take pictures instead. The fewer vendors you have to get involved the easier your holiday wedding will be to plan and execute. Like an elopement, the best holiday wedding is the simpler one.

And now a word from our sponsors. As time goes by I like to mention certain vendors that stand out in their field. One such vendor is photographer Wingate Downs. I’ve know Wingate for most of the sixteen years I have been a wedding minister and I can safely say he is a top-shelf photographer of the highest order. If you want the highest quality photos and an engaging, pleasant photographer to shoot your wedding, go for experience and give Wingate a call or visit his website.

-Rev. Sam

www.revsam.com

Something Old Something New

I rarely get asked about wedding caterers or photographers or DJ’s, but I often get asked to suggest a location for the wedding.  That’s my something old for this post.

There are many events facilities around North Georgia that are tucked away and unknown, often quaint and unique, sometimes themed and sometimes just a good, open space that is shaded and peaceful.

I found a new events facility that is smack dab in the middle of Northeast Georgia called Boutier Winery (pronounced BOO-SHAY`). Boutier Winery is a winery first, producing award winning wines and bottled with either their label or YOUR picture on the label for your wedding.  They will even make cases of small bottles with the happy couple’s picture on it as gifts to the attendees.

Having established themselves as wine producers, they have now expanded their facilities to include a space for weddings and special events. Located outside of Danielsville, GA, Boutier is only thirty minutes from Athens and 80 minutes from Atlanta, nestled into the countryside with the quiet of nature around you.

Their outdoor wedding area is well manicured and the barrel water fountain is a nice touch. Inside is plenty of room for up to 150 guests and a bar area where the owners are on hand to answer questions about the wines they produce, which everyone seemed to enjoy immensely.

According to owners Victor Boutier and Mary Jakupi-Boutier, Boutier Winery will soon break ground on a bed and breakfast right there on the property that will have enough bedrooms to put the wedding party and both sides of the family up for the entire weekend, making Boutier Winery a top shelf, one-stop wedding destination.  I especially enjoyed the nice drive in the countryside to get there. Highway 106, as it makes its way north of Athens, seems to have a quaint, country church around every curve. I love it.

And now, something completely different.  I have discovered a new trend that I think is not only very pleasant, but is a very thoughtful gesture on the part of the couple: providing a boxed, courtesy meal to the vendors, like the minister, the musician or DJ, the photographer, the bartenders, and the flower arranger.

In the last few years I have noticed that couples are taking the comfort of their wedding party members more into consideration, providing good food and drink for bridesmaids and groomsmen in their dressing rooms. Often people forget to eat and drink on a busy day like a wedding day can be, so just having some finger food within reach is a great thing to remember to do for your wedding party.

Extending this courtesy to the vendors I think is the most considerate thing I’ve seen in a long time. There are only so many Saturdays in a year, so often we have to leave one wedding and go straight to another with hardly the time or inclination to stop and eat. Having food offered to you on such a day can make all the difference in the world and is a courtesy that is certainly appreciated, especially considering that the caterers are laying out all this great smelling, wonderful food that we must work around but not touch.

 This trend is so new that I suggest you strongly urge the vendors to take advantage of this courtesy, letting them know in advance and reminding them often that a boxed lunch or dinner will be waiting for them, or have the caterers deliver the food directly to the vendors as some will be too shy to go ask for it themselves – until (or if) this trend does take hold.

-Rev. Sam

www.revsam.com

Put a Ring On It

The exchange of wedding rings is something that most all weddings have. I have done one wedding that did not involve exchanging rings, but that was a situation where the groom had no ring finger to speak of. Unless this is true for you or your beloved, you can expect the exchanging rings to be a part of your ceremony.

The most important thing to remember about the rings is DON’T FORGET THEM! I have done the odd wedding where we had to find a couple of rings to stand in, one of them being a skull ring. Unless you want to get married with a skull ring, you want to make sure the rings make it to the service.

When I arrive at the venue on the day of the wedding, the first thing on my checklist is to make sure the rings are here. If not, we still have time to send somebody to the hotel or house where they were left.

The question arises next of who will carry the rings during the service. Sometimes there is a ring-bearer. It is generally not a good idea to give the actual rings to the ring-bearer for a number of reasons. They may set the pillow down somewhere and forget where the left it. If they are very young they may not cooperate during the service and in fact may run the other way screaming. 

If they are old enough to be dependable during the service, it is still not a good idea to let the ring-bearer hold the actual rings because to tie them on good enough so they don’t fall off means somebody (usually me) has to untie them during the service, which can be tricky, and my hands are already full with the text of the service.

If having the ring-bearer actually carry the rings is the genuine wish of the bride, then I suggest giving the rings to the ring-bearer at the very last second before sending him down the aisle. That leaves a lot less to chance. Mostly I would suggest giving him fake rings to carry and giving both the rings to the best man. My reasons follow.

These days, I suggest to couples that they let the best man carry both of the rings during the service instead of giving the groom’s ring to the maid of honor to carry. One of the main reasons for this is that the maid/matron of honor is already holding two sets of flowers by the time you are exchanging rings, so a good division of duties is helpful to everybody here.

Before each service I will usually prompt the best man on how to give me the rings during the service. First I tell him (or her – I’ve seen grooms with a best woman before) to relax and not to hurry. We aren’t running any races here, so they can take their time. Then I tell them to either keep the rings in their pocket and then drop them in my palm or to simply put them both in the same box and then present the open box to me so I can simply and easily pluck them out.

The best man SHOULD NOT hand me the box, or boxes. That is the worst thing to do to a minister. I am already holding my book and don’t have the extra hands to deal with the boxes. Of course, another option is to give the rings to me before the service so I’ll already have them, avoiding the need for a ring-bearer or ring hand-off altogether.

The best man is also a good person to put in charge of making sure the minister receives the paperwork (the license and final payment, if applicable) before the service. After the service you will be busy with family and photos, so you need to take care of your wedding business either at the rehearsal or before the service as many ministers don’t stay for the reception and will generally need to get back to their families and prepare for Sunday services.

The last thing I have to say about your wedding rings is that they should fit really tightly, especially the groom’s. You don’t want to feel like your ring is going to slip off as you work with your hands as many men do, so you want to size it about half a size small. It only follows, then, that it would be difficult for another person to put that ring on your finger. What I advise couples to do at the ring exchange is to gently push the ring onto the other's finger as far as it will go and then stop and wait for the words they will be repeating. If you can’t get the ring over that last knuckle then just let the other do it themselves. Nobody in the audience will be the wiser.

The important thing is to NOT get caught up in these props, which is what your rings are to your wedding ceremony. If you struggle with the ring it may hurt your mate or become a distraction to her, to the audience, and to me. What you want to do let your future partner finish sliding in on the rest of the way and to listen to the words that you will be repeating after me at that moment. Nothing causes a case of uncontrollable, nervous giggles like the struggling at the ring exchange, so prepare for it. Putting rings on each other is not something you do every day so you may even want to practice doing it at some point before the service.

As for the bride’s engagement ring, I usually suggest that you either leave it in your dressing room (or somewhere safe) during the service, put it on your other hand, or simply leave it on and swap it with your wedding ring right after the service so that your wedding ring is on the inside, closer to your heart..

-Rev. Sam

www.revsam.com

Elopements: Keeping it Real (Simple)

Now that all the informational stuff is done (see my earlier blog entries) I can turn my attention to more topical matters that apply to everybody, not just those who can choose their minister, location, service, vows, props, etc. I realize now that all of the earlier posts are what I cover in phone calls and meetings with brides and grooms, so when we meet, you can expect to hear those things from me if asked.

Today I want to talk a bit about elopements. In this economy, many people are choosing to elope and then have a second, bigger wedding at a later time when money is better. Sometimes I’m the elopement minister, sometimes I’m the big wedding minister – sometimes I’m both.

It’s funny that the majority of vow renewals I do – especially the fifty year ones, which are the most popular -- are couples that eloped the first time around. Things were different back then. It’s a wonderful, thoughtful gift when a family hires me to do a fifty-year anniversary vow renewal for their parents. And when the first wedding was an elopement, having a real wedding fifty years later, with the family closely gathered around, makes for a very special moment in your lives. I love my job.

Here’s the long and short of elopements. Mostly it’s short. Typically, an elopement service is at my home. This is the most cost effective way to do it. For a small fee you can simply choose between a religious service and a civil service. I have short ceremonies prepared for just the three of us. It saves you money if you choose this option. If you want to customize your service (see my earlier posts about creating your own service and vows) then I usually charge a little more.

My elopement services are meant either for the three of us (Georgia does not require witnesses) or for a very small group of attendees. For my elopement services at my home I ask that you limit the wedding party to six adults, total. That means you can each bring two people with you.

I do lots of elopement services at places other than my home, but the cost goes up when I have to travel. These are called destination elopements. I love to do destination elopements, especially at places like Tallulah Gorge and the Botanical gardens. Any scenic spot will work for an elopement service when you keep it REALLY small.

There are some very nice Bed & Breakfast locations in North Georgia that are very flexible with prospective couples for hosting weddings. Near Athens there is the Thompson House and Gardens – a wonderful spot out in Bogart.

Here in Watkinsville there is the Ashford Manor. Next to it is the Ashford Memorial Methodist Church, which has been renovated and is a lovely place to have a wedding if you want a church wedding but don’t have a church (or yours isn’t available).

I do many destination elopement services at people’s homes, side rooms at restaurants, public parks and buildings, scenic overlooks in the North Georgia Mountains, secret places, places where the couple met or had their first kiss – the sky is the limit when you keep it small and simple.

-Rev. Sam

www.revsam.com